First Days

While we never know fully how our lives will unfold, in my mind these are our last 'first days', and being the 3rd time around you know just how fast they go. For me first days tend to always be packed full of what is hard and what is beautiful, which is kind of a perfect combination of what it seems the parenting journey is no matter what season your in. 

In our first few hours or so of bringing her home - she was so very excited to have her "best, best sister" home. 

Our mom's came the first week and were a big help! 

ah the early days of no make up, no sleep, shower - maybe?
but lots of snuggle time. 

Rhett got to spend a day with Ryan at his office during the first week Penny was home. Here he is so excited! 

and later in the day closer to nap time. 

Penny and I enjoyed a Call the Midwife netflix marathon while the big kids were at school one of the first days. 

I was really hopeful we would not have to do lights but she followed in big brother and big sister's foot steps with a few days of light therapy at home for her jaundice and the dreaded blood draws that go along with. 

Rhett kept his distance for the first few days and wasn't sure what to think about her but as the week went on he started showing more interest in "my Penny" and would give her kisses. 

Watching Sesame Street together. 

late night hang out time

First Family Outing, Martin Nature Park

These words of truth from Ann Voskamp from when her youngest turned 10 are so meaningful to me in this season of family life, I can't read them without a lump in my throat. These family days are so precious and every time I'm tempted to hang on a little too tightly to what has already been or look longingly forward to be done with what is hard, I miss the gift to myself and them of being fully present for what is beautiful now. May this be only the beginning of making our lives say I love you in small ways, big ways and all the in-between ways - no matter what days we are in. 

"And maybe that's what happens in families: I don't know where those 10 years of breakfasts and laundry, loud laughter and dishes, reading stories together and nighttime prayers went, but that wee little baby will blow out her 10 birthday candles today... and all those grinning little kids will be a whole lot bigger around the table today... and 10 years of just putting one foot in front of the other, you turn around and see:

That every day that you do the hard things that you don't want to do --- you're building the family you always wanted to have.

And that's what family means: people love you and keep on holding on to you especially when you're not loveable.

And family is a verb: it's not just what we are, it's something that we actively keep on making.

With every phone call.... every time we make time for each other. Every way we make our life say: I love you.

As many I love you's, as many times as we can, because maybe that is all there is: Love is only real when it's shared."
-Ann Voskamp