All it takes, is all you got.

Today was the day, 5 months ago, I made a new years resolution to check off another bucket list item this year: Run a half marathon. I had run just a few 5ks prior this is commitment. It seemed like running 13 miles was an impossible task which is exactly what made the whole journey appealing in a scary, exciting, can-I-ready-do-this? kind of way. 

So first thing I did after I had asserted this seemingly lofty goal? Write it down. I think the research is that you are 70% more likely to reach a goal if you write it down. So I thought I better write this down in a big way, I wrote it on my bathroom mirror where I had to be reminded daily for the first few months what laid before me. Then I started reading and researching training recommendations online. I came across an interesting article on running. It said ask yourself why you want to run, I thought "to be more healthy and fit" then it said go deeper than that first answer and you will find the real reason and knowing this reason is the key to reaching your goal and making the most of the journey. So for those first weeks of running I would think a lot while I was running, what is my "deeper" reason. 

As the runs progressed I realized I liked training outside much more than the treadmill. My favorite place to run was the lake and I started doing my long runs on Sundays. Some runs were hard and some actually became enjoyable. I would look forward to that time by myself, being the only one that pushed myself or was easy on myself. It was a beautiful time of self reflection, deeper pondering and prayer. It was a very mild winter and perfect for training. 


I ran a 10K at the beginning of March and it was HARD. Thinking about doubling that honestly seemed discouraging at the time. It was just after this time that AM and I started doing our long training together. This helped tremendously to feel like this was still a possible goal. I would start to look forward to those runs again in new ways as we would spend that time reflecting, challenging and validating one another on not only our running but also on the rest of our lives. We would end those runs with celebrating our success, confirming our running plan for the week and saying a prayer. During the week we would message one another to keep each other posted on our running commitments.  
The mutual support was much needed and for sure the best running strategy move I made.

So my "deeper reason". After much reflection, I arrived there. Being now a 30 something year old wife, mother, daughter, sister, Aunt, grand daughter, friend, therapist, manager, church member... I am where most women find themselves starting this season of adult life, giving so much of myself in so many roles. While I feel I am fulfilling my purpose in these roles and find much joy and fulfillment in them, I also wanted to strip them away for at brief amounts of time and really connect with the adult me, to know her better as just her, and in doing so find ways to ensure I don't lose myself in the giving. Knowing myself better helps me make better decisions, when guided by prayer, that make the giving purposeful and thoughtful and that keep it in part a filling up kind-of-thing instead of just an emptying out kind-of-thing. A favorite running quote of mine is "All it takes, is all you got". I wanted to know what "I got" and what that ment for this next phase of life.

So this morning I saw the fulfillment of that 5 month ago commitment. Waking at 4:30 and making my way to down town. Along with thousands of others, I lined up with eager anticipation.

We ran the streets of our beloved city. We remembered our collective reason along with all our thousands of individual reasons. The experience was part pain and part joy, which are usually the best and most authentic of human experiences we have when those two things come together at the same time. We did give it all we got. Mission was accomplished... In more ways than one.