Dear Ava,

Dear Ava,

I think I will continue the tradition of writing you a letter on your birthday each year. As I look through my favorite pictures of you over this past year, its clear just how much you've transformed again this year.  Its hard to explain from a mom's perspective just how fast and slow it is all at the same time. These days you are so funny, curious and sweet. We can have little conversations now and I love getting to know what's in that little head of yours. 

Your dad and I have an ongoing friendly fight. I say you look like him but inside your just like me. He says your like him all the way through. I see me in your quiet side that waits first in new situations, in the way you like to observe before jumping in and how sweet and kind you are and your dad says he sees your strength, independence and determination and just knows your a blue print of him. I'm glad you have all of that, either way I think we both agree you're the best of us.

and there are those moments still where you are so clearly one of us or the other. Just this week daddy was teaching you how to blow bubbles in the bath, You were doing so great he called me in to see you. You got pretty confident and stuck our nose down too far and got a bit choked up. I expected tears and avoidance following that but waited for you to have your own response, with teary eyes from the coughing you simply said "woa" and went back for more, learning from that already how to do better at it. That is so the fearlessness of your dad and such a great way to go about life! 

I fall in love with you in so many new ways as you grow. I still love your petite frame and delicate features. Your pretty brown eyes regularly get comments from others. You are still so much fun to dress each day and now the added bonus of doing your beautiful brown hair too. 

I love also that you love to snuggle with me and be rocked daily. I know one day you will be grown and I will so miss this part. I recently read about this mom who is now a grandma, sometimes she dreams at night her children are still tiny like you and she wakes up a bit sad to the reality that they are full grown with kids of their own. That's really resonated with me and I think of that sometimes when we are rocking, trying to soak up every bit of that precious moment. 

I do love the balance we strike most days at this stage with your independent play and the way you still need us too.

You have friends now! There's a whole great little group of kids your age at church as you were part of quite a baby boom. You go to mother's day out on Fridays sometimes at church. I ask you on those mornings if you want to go play with friends and you repeat over and over with a big smile, "Go play with friends".

Of course since we spend so much time with Isabella I can tell she already has a special place in your heart. Your eyes light up to see her. Recently you two have been into trading your shoes with one another as soon as you are together. You love to give her hugs, kisses and pats on the back. If she cries you go over, tilt your head to the side and pat her back and say "Its okay Iz" in the sweetest little voice. She's pretty into you to, She enthusiastically greets you whenever you are reunited running towards you and joyfully saying your name over and over. Friendship is one of God's richest blessings and I'm so glad you are already knowing that joy at this tender age.

Another favorite person of yours is Aunt Amy, you talk about her often, sometimes want me to call her on the phone, ask me where she is. You even declared at one point this year that one of our kitchen chairs is  Aunt Amy's. You go spend Saturday afternoons with her, here and there. Your also pretty wild about your cousins, Chloe and Allie and their dogs. Out of the blue you will bring them up and ask me where they are. When I tell you we are going to be seeing them, you will ask me about them throughout the day. I am so glad you have a close bond with them and I am also so excited for baby girl cousin that is due this summer that you will be close to in age!

As I reflect on this past year I come to the same simple conclusion that this journey of parenting continues to have its challenges at times that change as your grow but so often it seems insignificant compared to the reward and fulfillment of getting to be your mama. So happy second birthday sweet girl! Buckle your belt, this next year holds big things for you! the phasing out of the paci, a change to a big girl bed and potty training to name a few. Can't wait to share more of the big the small and everything in between. Love you!