Waiting...

We've enjoyed a quiet laid back day today. A lot more indications this week that baby boy could come soon but guess he's just not quite ready yet. Its an interesting place to be just waiting for your life to completely change, going from a family of three to a family of four, having a son, turning the chapter in our family book to a new phase for us and all of the timing being mostly completely out of our control of just when all that is going to take place. I feel like I've been in early labor off and on for over a week now waiting for it to kick over to active labor but then things ease back. His official due date is just around the corner. I keep getting a few more things done each day that I honestly thought I wouldn't get to before baby came. You know the important stuff like a pedicure, best friend date, shaving my legs (I gave up a month ago the list items like cleaning our our closets and other crazy nesting spring cleaning I thought I wanted to do and then at this stage of pregnancy realized was just a little on the crazy side) Daily the list is growing shorter and my desire to have him in our arms is growing stronger.

 

I know these days are precious and I want to soak them up for what this time holds, the nervous anticipation, the sweet way Ryan is taking care of us, the undercurrent of excitement in our home, the curious and caring texts and phone calls from our family and friends to check our status. On the other side of that my body is growing more uncomfortable daily, the bouncing mind set wise from "is this it?' to "no not yet?" is a merry-go-round that is growing tiring, as well as the lurking bits of anxiety about how fast active labor might go with all this pre-labor activity and the many friends second birth stories in mind of how fast and furious it can all go down - all make this time an interesting mental game for sure.

 

I have a wonderful weekend in store no matter what it holds that will help me live more moments in the former rather than the latter. I spent Friday evening meeting and holding my best friend's sweet newborn little boy, just hours old and perfect in every way, our due dates just a week apart - another thing that makes this time so special and surreal in the best possible way. Tomorrow dear college friends are in town for the memorial marathon and their annual spring visit. An unofficial reunion as this spring marks 10 years ago we graduated college together - we've watched each other start careers, get married, have babies and do this whole adult thing. We were each others family during that treasured time between leaving home and starting adult life on our own and that sense of belongingness has never faded but grows stronger roots as the years pass. I always enjoy the gang being back together and if baby boy needs some more time then its a great way to spend some of the waiting time, if he decideds to come on out than it is very fitting they be some of the first to say hello. 

Alright baby boy, can't wait to meet you! We are ready when you are. 



Birthday Letter: Year three!

 

Dear Ava,

 

Your three years old! As always for your mamma's heart its still hard for me to believe your already that old. I have loved this year in so many new ways as we watched you grow. As I have each year so far I love to reflect and document what's been special for you this year. I do that so I can hold these moments for you these years you won't have clear memories of your own to hold on to just yet but also because I want to treasure them in my heart also. So here we go...

 



 

 

We went on your first big vacation to Florida, staying at a beach house for a week. You loved the pool and sometimes you loved the beach and ocean depending on the size of the waves. Your daddy and I loved all of it! We hope to return at different times as a family to make more memories through your growing up years.

 

 

You met your cousin Adley that will be your closest cousin in age. You have been taken with her since the moment you met her. Every baby doll in our house you have named "Adley". Again playing with your babies is your favorite thing to do, there is usually always one on your hip when we leave the house.

We survived the tripple digit crazy summer heat with lots of pool time and outside water play. I love that you love water as much as me and your daddy.

We cheered you on as you accomplished lots of big time milestones this year. In the fall you said goodbye to the Paci and were potty trained. You also found out your were going to big sister! Then, after Christmas you tranistioned from your crib to your big girl bed. Most of those tranistions were smoother than anticipated. All of them were markers on just how big you are now.

Another favorite for you this year is playing "ballet". You were such a beautiful tiny ballerina for Halloween. You love to put your hands over your head to show us your "ballet" as you make slow deliberate spinning circles. 

 



 

I love continuing to get glimpses of you will be. Your such a fun girl combo - you love getting your nails painted, going to the tea room, wearing a pretty dress but you also love making mud pies, riding your tri-cycle and being outside. You are tender hearted, compassionate and so loving.

 

We let you watch PBS, Dora and movies. Dora and Daniel Tiger are your favorite shows. Your favorite movies have been Lady and the Tramp, Despicable me and Lion King.

Of course the child therapist in me loves that you've mastered most of your feelings identification this year. Feelings words regularly appear in your conversations. My favorite is when you describe happy and you will randomly tell me things like "mom goats make me so happy". Lately you like to use the words frustrated and disappointed. Those big words sound a little funny coming out of your tiny self.

Regulating your emotions, as will be the case for a few years, is still a struggle at times. As is the case for most two year olds sometimes your moods shift dramatically and suddenly. You tested more limits this year and we've had to be more determined and consistent in our response to you to teach you obedience while we try to also honor and mold your drive toward independence. I didn't always respond with the patience and kindness that I wish I had. Getting to parent you continues to refine me and your dad. I pray to our heavenly father that our parenting continues to grow as you do, that we will be who need to be so that we can help you be all He intends you to be.

I am excited to watch this next year unfold for you. I think you will be a natural at this big sister thing. One of the things I am most excited about in meeting your baby brother is the connection you and he will have with one another. While you are growing bigger, you will always be my baby girl in so many ways. Know there is nothing that can ever happen or you can ever do that will make me love you less or more than I do right now. I don't have words for the gratitude I feel for the blessing you are to your dad and I, that is confirmed every year and every day we get to share with you. Happy 3rd Birthday sweet girl!

Love,

Your mama

She's Three!

 

I had hoped we would get through her birthday before we welcomed baby "budder" and that mission was accomplished yesterday!

 

We had a Family Jungle Safari Birthday Party to celebrate.

She's pretty obsessed with the Lion King these days, so it was an easy theme to go with.



 

Here's the cake I made from a Pinterest inspired version.

 A Lion King inspired presentation to get this party started!

 

 

One of her favorite gifts was a lady bug kite. We closed out the day with some sunset kit flying.

 

 A birthday letter to come!



Ready or not...

 

It's been a week. I started this week organized and ready. I knew it would be packed and I knew at the end I would feel so much more ready for this baby and this major transition of meeting him and bringing him home. There is so much I wanted/want to do. Well the events of each day unravelled that plan and determination in different ways. I found myself stuck in the confident self assured determination to get at all done and then being overwhelmed by what I can not control and forcing movement to surrendering prayerful to trusting whatever will be will be. I wish I would live just as confidently in the later as I do in the former. I know there is much wisdom and maturity in starting with prayerful surrender and then moving to determined action but it continues to be a spiritual journey I wrestle with.  At my doctor visit this week I know most in my state would be thrilled to hear "I really don't think you will go to you due date, I really think it will be any day now" but for me that felt overwhelming and anxiety producing at that exact moment. Of course I want to meet him and am so excited for those treasured moments that are just around the corner of his birth and first days with us, a story yet to unfold with much promise and hope of being one of the most joyful and transcendent moments I will have on this earth but honestly I am okay if that's still a week or two out there. My 11 hour work day today yielded getting all the big things checked off or delegated. We worked each evening to go ahead and get hospital bags ready and other home items preped. I am no longer in freak out land if this baby boy decides to come sooner rather than later. Its a good place to be.

 

 

 

Our Weekend.

Its 3:00 in the morning and I am wide awake. I've had a week streak of better sleep lately but this has been a somewhat regular occurrence this stage of pregnancy and just before Ava was born too. It so fascinating how our bodies and minds are being prepared for that lies ahead. Its still really hard to wrap my head being up with a newborn at this hour in just a few more weeks, until then guess I'll update the blog on our weekend adventures!

 

We had a fun weekend in BA enjoying family this weekend. First up on Friday night Grandma's been itchin to take Ava to Sesame Street live, we decided she was ready this year to attend. We were on the second row from the stage, she's not a fan too much of loud noises so I was unsure how she would do. However she had just a few moments of uncertainty and fear but mostly loved it!

 

 

Saturday morning Ava and I visited with my parents and also my grandparents who just moved to BA. We got to see their new place and eat lunch together. After that we meet up when Uncle Aaron and Aunt Amy when they got to town and feed the ducks at Rhema.



 

The weather was pretty great all weekend.

 





 

The other reason for our trip was to celebrate a milestone birthday for grandma.

 

 

Sunday we headed home after morning church and worked on house projects and organization to get ready for baby.  Our last trip to BA before baby! 

Still his mini-me

 

She's always looked like her daddy but I was looking at Ryan's childhood pictures recently I was taken back at just how much they favor each other still. Ran across this picture that was so identical to the one I had taken just earlier that week of Ava. Still his mini-me...

 

 

 

 

Hello Spring!

 

I have some other posts I might catch up on later but today I just want to bask in the fact that Ryan's deadline is done! We are so excited to see him again. March was definitely mostly a survival month as the state of my car and house still have lingering evidence of. I've been slowly working on getting things back in order but mostly enjoyed putting it off a little longer for some rest, relaxation and family Easter fun this weekend.  

 

Ava dyed her first Easter eggs last night!

 



 

We had a fun egg hunt this morning at church.

 

 

The biggest hit of the festivities were the Eatser goats!

(yea, I don't know either what goats have to do with Easter but they were definitely Ava's fav part of the morning, some sweet members of our church brought a mama and baby Pygmy goats for the kids to pet and feed).

 

She told me later "the goats make me so happy."

 

 

35 Weeks!

 



"Sure mom, I'll take a picture with you and baby brother as long as my stick can be in the picture".

One of those times its better to just go with it.

 



Spring of 2013 you will be a memorable one in the life of this little family.

Our Ava bear is turning 3 and we will meet our baby boy in a matter of just weeks. Welcome back old friend!